60 pages • 2 hours read
By setting the novel in 2013, Lo showcases the ways in which discovering and embracing queer identity became easier after the legalization of gay marriage, while also emphasizing the challenges still associated with life as an LBGTQ+ individual. Aria arrives in Woodacre just as the reversal of California’s Proposition 8 (“Prop 8”) goes into effect, making gay marriage legal once again. Joan’s neighbors have lawn signs condemning the proposition, and the local Fourth of July parade includes a gay pride float—showing that even in quiet rural towns near major liberal cities, the general culture has shifted toward acceptance. Queer public intimacy and colorful, nonconforming expressions of self are the norm in places like San Francisco.
Having grown up in Massachusetts, the first state to legalize gay marriage, Aria is familiar with the concept of queerness. However, even teens who grow up in liberal places in the age of social media and widely accessible information don’t necessarily possess knowledge of concepts that don’t pertain to them; Aria lacks the language to talk about sexuality and gender identity, admitting to Steph that the word “genderqueer” feels like “a foreign language” (282). Queerness itself is becoming normalized, but the nuances aren’t yet part of everyday life; for many teens like Aria, exploring one’s sexuality is like being “buoyed by a wave in an ocean [you’d] never known to exist” (76).
Because Aria’s family and community have an attitude of acceptance, Aria has the privilege of not fearing for her safety or well-being for coming out. Despite her emotionally intense journey as she navigates her first love, her experience of realizing her queerness itself isn’t fraught—her narrative is driven by self-discovery and fully experiencing her life-changing summer rather than by fear, denial, or self-hatred. Haley’s experience, by contrast, proves that this isn’t true for everyone and that despite the general trend toward acceptance, self-acceptance can still be an immense challenge—even when one has supportive friends. Even as queerness becomes normalized, Lo shows that finding community is critical to embracing identity: Witnessing and being witnessed by other queer people, whether at an open mic, a march, or a house party, is a celebration of authenticity. The queer community can be a supplement or a substitute for biological family, especially for someone like Steph, whose family doesn’t accept her.
Aria easily daydreams of a future relationship with Steph because that future is possible in 2013. Aria is reminded that this hasn’t always been the case when she reads the newspaper article about her relative Lily Hu: After marrying her long-time partner Kath, Lily told the reporter, “I feel recognized by my country [...] I never dreamed this was possible when I was younger” (304). Her queer ancestor’s sacrifices and activism helped pave the way for Aria to explore and pursue her identity freely without worry.
Through various experiences, Lo explores the complexities of profound loss and navigating the arduous process of healing and moving forward. The West family still grieves Russ’s death five years later; and Aria’s time in Woodacre connects her to her grandfather even more. In helping Joan sort through Russ’s notes and watching his lecture tapes, Aria learns to see him “as his own person” for the first time (45). She also sees how much his death has affected Joan: Despite Joan’s independence, Aria realizes that Russ’s death “overturned so much of who [Joan] was, […] muting” her core identity as an artist for the last five years (90).
Grief and loss can be an isolating experience, and Lo demonstrates the importance of seeking support. Joan finds community at Spirit Rock, the Buddhist retreat center, where a meditation practice helps her find inner peace amid her grief. Steph loses her biological family when she comes out, so she turns to creating a chosen family of queer friends that love her fully. Tasha and Aria support each other through their respective heartbreaks when they feel they have no one else to turn to. This kind of unconditional acceptance, especially amid the disheartening emotional turmoil of processing loss, is crucial for healing.
Aria’s tendency is to shut her emotions off and become “blank” in the face of traumatic events. She does this after the photo incident at school, and she initially approaches Joan’s death and the end of her relationship with Steph in the same manner. However, Aria learns the importance of processing loss and realizes how art can help someone heal. Joan’s last art piece is a testament to her love for Russ and a way for her to stay connected to him after his death. Aria’s first painting as a nascent artist captures the emotions she tries to parse that summer, and 10 years later she incorporates it into her favorite piece. She has learned to integrate her confusion, heartbreak, and loss into her artistic expression rather than ignoring them. Aria and Joan’s characters show that grief and loss can fundamentally change a person but that healing is always possible—and someone’s influence can live on even after they’re gone.
Through various characters and their circumstances, the novel explores the importance and the cost of pursuing one’s dream. To be able to pursue a passion, one must know oneself and one’s motivations for doing something; this is ultimately the lesson Steph learns when she realizes that she has been putting others’ needs before her own. Her struggle to feel seen and validated leads to a messy affair, and she begins to lie to herself and the people she cares most about. Choosing to follow Joan’s advice “to do what [her] heart desires” (170) is a painful decision for Steph; it costs her both Lisa and Aria, but she sees this is as necessary to learn how “to see [herself]” (312). Conversely, Alexis has always prioritized her opera career above all personal relationships. While this choice has afforded her a glamorous lifestyle and international recognition, it costs her a healthy relationship with her child. Alexis and Steph serve as both ends of this spectrum: Alexis prioritizes music at the cost of personal relationships, while Steph prioritizes her relationship with Lisa at the cost of pursuing music. Both are unhappy and need to reevaluate their priorities to find a more balanced life.
During her time in Woodacre, Aria learns that pursuing one’s dream can directly depend on one’s privilege. Growing up in Wellesley, a wealthy suburb of Boston, Aria struggled to fit in with her exorbitantly rich friends, who could afford international internships, spontaneous vacations, and expensive private colleges. Aria plans to take out loans to afford MIT, but this doesn’t deter her from enrolling. Meeting Steph and her friends, Aria sees the reality that most working-class people face financial burdens that can keep them from pursuing their passion. Aria initially has difficulty grasping why Steph hasn’t prioritized music, because no one in Aria’s family or friend circle has ever struggled to pay rent. Even Joan acknowledges her immense privilege: She could pursue art full-time while her husband’s salary supported his entire family.
Additionally, Aria learns that dreams can change—even for someone like her who has several years of her future already planned out. Joan reminds her at the beginning of the summer that “everything changes,” something that Aria is initially reluctant to accept. Young adulthood, especially the transition after high school, is a period with abundant change. Between discovering her queerness and her identity as an artist (not just a scientist), Aria’s experience is a lesson in the importance of exploring the unfamiliar and the uncomfortable, the result of which is a successful, confident adult 10 years later.
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