56 pages • 1 hour read
Content Warning: This section contains discussions of anti-Indigenous racism, colonial violence, and cultural genocide.
The impact of white colonialism is central to Apple. Indigenous people across North America have experienced countless profound losses over the last few centuries. Eric Gansworth notes that the earliest agreements between the Haudenosaunee Confederacy and European settlers were based on equality, friendship, and mutual cultural respect. The Haudenosaunee Confederacy is still fighting for those ideals today. Instead of respecting Indigenous cultures, European settlers enacted violence and an ongoing campaign of cultural genocide against their new Indigenous neighbors. In Apple, this cultural genocide is most clearly represented by the legacy of residential schools. Gansworth is two generations removed from the members of his family who attended these schools, but his life is still shaped by their intergenerational trauma. His mother refused to let him participate in traditional activities because her own mother considered Onondaga and Tuscarora traditions “backwards.”
Likewise, colonialism is responsible for many of the hardships Gansworth experienced as a child while growing up on a reservation. Limited economic opportunities, limited access to affordable education, and very poor infrastructure and social services all contribute to an ongoing cycle of poverty in Indigenous communities. Gansworth grew up in one of the wealthiest countries in the world yet lived in a house without heating and rarely had enough food to eat. Some members of his community had even less than he did: For example, his father’s house had no insulation. In theory, Gansworth’s family leased their salt mines to the US government, but the financial compensation they received was laughably small. The legacy of colonialism is an endless list of broken promises and unfair arrangements that benefit white settlers and disadvantage Indigenous communities.
Another pervasive element of colonialism is anti-Indigenous racism. Gansworth notes many instances where people treated him differently because he was Onondaga than they would have if he were white. His accomplishments were impressive “for an Indian” (196); his failures were expected because they played into stereotypes about Indigenous people. He felt perpetually out of place, not just as an Onondaga among Tuscarora people, but also as an Indigenous person observing white American culture. Growing up, most of the media representations of Indigenous people that Gansworth saw relied on racist stereotypes instead of portraying Indigenous people and communities as they actually were. These stereotypes made it harder for Gansworth to develop his own identity and contributed to the continued erasure of Indigenous lifestyles, vibrant cultures, and ongoing challenges in favor of an outdated, flattened image of indigeneity.
Because Apple is a memoir, it chronicles Gansworth’s experiences from early childhood until well into adulthood. It is a coming-of-age story that positions Gansworth as the youngest member of his generation. His earliest memories taught him that the reservation was the whole of the world, and that he and his siblings would never have enough food and resources. The first positive touchstone in Gansworth’s life was superheroes, something he holds onto for the entire memoir. He loved superheroes much longer than other children did, and they teased him, saying that he “should know / by now that no heroes [were] coming” (139) to rescue him. Although superheroes were important to Gansworth, they were also a source of disappointment. He positioned his father as a superhero, but his father had no interest in saving him or even in spending time with him. He was excited to learn that the Fantastic Four comics had an Indigenous character but disappointed that Wyatt Wingfoot had no superpowers and was a poor representation of an Indigenous person.
The other positive touchstone in Gansworth’s life was art. He used art as an escape from his everyday life, even though others around him (like his father) did not always appreciate his talents. The book includes reproductions of some of his paintings. He lost many family photos over the years, especially during the fire. He reproduces some of those photos as paintings, using art to rebuild parts of his past that would otherwise be lost. Art helps Gansworth understand who he is and where he comes from. Jaboozie taught him to make cornhusk dolls, another kind of art, to help him connect with his heritage. Gansworth’s coming-of-age journey culminated when he decided to become an artist instead of going into the medical field. He never thought he could be an artist and a writer, but he was wrong: Gansworth is now a published writer and an English professor.
Gansworth’s coming-of-age journey was all about finding a balance. He knew that he could not spend his whole life on the reservation: He would be unable to find love there or live the kind of life he wanted. On the other hand, he did not want to be disconnected from his family and his people. He had to find ways to come and go from the reservation as needed, maintaining his sense of self by honoring and balancing all the different parts of himself.
The impact of white colonialism and the reclamation of identity are two sides of the same coin. Colonialism has had a profoundly negative impact on Indigenous communities, but many Indigenous people are now working to reclaim their identities and their cultures. Gansworth traces the major shift that has occurred over the last few decades. When he was a child, Tuscarora language education was poor, and his family members thought it would be better for him and his siblings to leave most of their traditions behind than to learn to maintain and honor them. The specter of residential schools still impacts people’s daily lives in many negative ways. It’s rare to see Indigenous people in media, and when they do appear, they’re usually based on outdated and racist stereotypes.
As time passes, the Tuscarora reservation moves toward a more positive and joyful reclamation of traditional knowledge and culture. Many other Nations do the same thing. Gansworth sees that some younger members of his family learn to speak Tuscarora more fluently; others work in traditional community gardens; still others research the legacy of residential schools. The ongoing work of many activists has brought about a widespread cultural shift across North America, not just in Indigenous communities but in settler communities as well. More recognition of and appreciation for Indigenous cultures, ways of knowing, and traditions is present. Despite these positive changes, however, society still has a long way to go. The push toward reclamation of identity does not negate the realities of racism and colonialism that still impact Indigenous people today.
For Gansworth, the reclamation of identity is both personal and political. In his own life, he has come to terms with his childhood experiences now that he has built a better life for himself. He mourns those he has lost but also appreciates all those who are still with him. Gansworth frames the reclamation of identity as a push and pull between what is lost and what is found. Some things, once lost, can never be regained, like his childhood home or people who have died. Other things, like family photos, can be recreated by gathering the subjects together again or by painting the missing images. In “Indian Picnic Cornbred,” Gansworth describes his disappointment when the family that usually brought cornbread to the picnic was absent. Initially, this seemed like a loss. When he met his cousin later, she gave him cornbread, however, showing that someone new had learned to make it. Although loss is an ongoing and deeply painful process, people can find ways to recover from it. They can learn new skills, and with creativity and dedication, things once thought gone forever can be brought back.
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