Quan officially becomes a member of the Black Jihad “after a group ass-whuppin’ that left him with a black eye, sprained wrist, and bruised ribs” (120). He begins bookkeeping for Martel and discovers that his leader’s main business is selling weapons. Martel keeps control over the gang with a strict set of rules and vague threats about what will happen if his group members break those rules. Even so, Quan finds community and admiration within the group, and he finally starts to feel like he belongs somewhere. He starts carrying a gun as a member of the gang.
Meanwhile, Quan’s home life worsens. Dwight continues to abuse Mama and threaten Quan, and finally, Quan breaks down and tells Trey about what has been happening. Not long after, Quan is called into the principal’s office at school, where a tearful Mama tells him that Dwight is dead.
Quan knows that Dwight’s death wasn’t an accident but was “arranged” as a result of what he told Trey. While at the playground, Quan notices that his rocket ship has been removed because someone was found dead inside of it after an overdose. As Quan looks at the playground, he feels his life is like the playground—“once bright and bouncy and filled with ways to take flight…now beat down and broken. Hopeless” (135). Martel gives Quan an envelope full of money for his family and reminds Quan that in the future, he needs to let Martel know personally if he is dealing with any personal problems at home. Quan is touched by how much Martel seems to care about him and his family, but he is also wracked with the guilt of Dwight’s death. Quan begins to feel like he is in over his head, but he doesn’t see a way out of his situation. He feels trapped once again, and this time, “his rocket ship is gone. His escape is gone. Now there’s no way out” (135).
While cleaning out Dwight’s belongings, Quan discovers a box full of letters that his father wrote to him over the course of four years. Over the years, Dwight stole these letters before they could reach Quan and hid them from him. Heartbroken at all of these missed opportunities to stay connected with his father and still overwhelmed with guilt about Dwight’s death, Quan begins to have panic attacks. One night, police are called to Martel’s house by neighbors complaining about the noise. Both officers draw their weapons, and Officer Castillo (the same officer who brutalizes Justyce in Dear Martin) refuses to lower his gun. Quan draws his weapon, but the scene becomes chaotic and confusing. A weapon fires, and Officer Castillo ends up dead on the ground. The members of the Black Jihad scatter into the night, and Quan is dragged away from the scene as panic unfolds. Quan writes a letter to his father and says that he loves his father and he will never give up on him. He feels like he “failed to become what [Daddy] believed I could be” and that “no matter how good I TRIED to do, it never worked” (155).
In the present day, Quan writes to Justyce and thinks back to that night. He says that a few days after Officer Castillo was murdered, Quan was arrested a final time—the arrest that led him to this point. Again, Quan reflects on how different his life might have been if Daddy had been around, or if Quan had received those letters, or if Doc had been his teacher and not Martel. At the end of the letter, Quan drops a bombshell: He wasn’t the one who murdered Castillo, but just one of three people who drew a weapon. However, he will not tell Justyce who committed the murder.
The final chapters of Part 1 read like the third and final act in a tragic play. Stone depicts the interaction between the members of the Black Jihad and the police officers like a Hollywood movie script not only to emphasize the drama of this showdown, but also to remind readers that Quan is a character in a modern tragedy. Ancient Greek tragedies deal heavily with the concept of fate—the gods or powers that determine a person’s path in life. Meanwhile, Shakespearean tragedies focus more on how individuals’ decisions shape their lives. Quan continues to wrestle with this age-old question of fate versus choices: He regrets his decisions and knows that he made mistakes leading up to the night of the shooting, but he can’t shake the feeling that there are other factors at play. He is not trying to shirk responsibility for his actions but wants to see the whole picture and take some comfort in knowing that his path to prison was not entirely a result of his own shortcomings. Although Quan is a fictional character, Stone uses his story to depict a realistic portrait of how children like him can become victims of systemic oppression, law enforcement bias towards the Black community, and impoverished conditions.
Even so, Quan struggles through his feelings of guilt related to Dwight’s murder. While details are never provided—only that Dwight is dead and it was “arranged”—Quan feels personally responsible. Quan might have hated Dwight, but he didn’t seem to want him dead: He just wanted an end to the pain that Dwight’s abuse was causing the family. The discovery of Daddy’s letters has a profound effect on Quan and causes him to rethink his entire trajectory in life. In the consistent game of “what if,” Quan wonders if receiving all 104 of these letters over the years would have changed him. Quan is a sensitive, kind person who craves meaningful connections, especially with anyone who can give him some sense of love and stability in his life. Daddy and his home represent the only stability, safety or love that Quan ever felt, and Quan’s entire life after Daddy’s arrest has been a journey to try to recapture that same level of stability.
The loss of Quan’s rocket ship at the playground also signifies a shift in Quan’s life. Throughout his childhood, Quan has gone to the rocket ship to seek shelter from the storms of his life, but around the time of Dwight’s death, the rocket ship is removed. Quan feels like he has lost not only his safe place, but also a prominent symbol of his childhood innocence. He can’t escape the situation with his family, the Black Jihad, or the uncertainty of his future. He is trapped in every sense of the word.
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By Nic Stone