Dibs in Search of Self: The Renowned, Deeply Moving Story of an Emotionally Lost Child Who Found His Way Back

Dr. Virginia M. Axline opens her account of Dibs’s transformation by explaining that Dibs desired a source of stability amidst the chaos of the larger world. She helped Dibs learn to embrace the hopes and disappointments of life—making his story relatable.

The opening scene sees Dibs, his teacher, and teaching assistant Hedda in the classroom at the end of the school day. Every day, Dibs becomes upset when it’s time to go home, either shutting down in silence or screaming and fighting. He seems to drift between these two extremes, either being passive as teaching assistant Hedda puts his jacket on, or screaming and punching as his mother’s chauffeur carries him to the car. Dibs’s mother occasionally drops him off but seems to avoid interacting with him during difficult moments. Dibs doesn’t cry when he’s dropped off in the mornings, but still needs to be coaxed into the classroom. He usually crawls under tables or reads by himself in a hiding spot. He seems “determined to keep all people at bay” (14), and after two years of school, is still in a state of social withdrawal. Dibs’s teachers suspect he has a developmental disorder, yet there are times when he exhibits independence unusual for his age. Dibs withdraws the moment he realizes he’s being noticed and seems to only act with intelligence when he thinks he has privacy. Dibs’s teacher Miss Jane often spends time sitting near him and talking to him about various subjects, and though he lies motionless, she senses he is listening.

Dibs is accepted into a private school after his mother fights for his entry; the family donated to win the school’s favor. When teachers tell Dibs’s mother that he needs professional help, she dismisses his lack of communication as a phase. After two years, the teachers collectively decide that it is not fair to Dibs nor them to leave him be. They call psychologist Dr. Virginia M. Axline, and express confusion and frustration over Dibs’s unpredictable behavior and his mother’s indifference. Hedda blames Dibs’s mother for what she calls his emotional disturbance. Dr. Axline can sense the staff’s concern and decides to set up a series of play therapy sessions with Dibs’s parents’ consent.

Dr. Axline begins thinking about her new patient and reminding herself to be aware of her own limitations. She admits that, because she isn’t Dibs himself, she can never fully understand him or what drives him; like everyone, Dibs has his own “private world of meaning, conceived out of the integrity and dignity of his personality” (20). She believes admitting to one’s limited knowledge can bring about new possibilities. Dr. Axline stresses the importance of drawing on both facts and empathy in trying new approaches.

On the first day of casual observation, Dr. Axline talks to Miss Jane and watches Dibs stand near the doorway in silence. Slowly, he goes to a sensory table of rocks and similar objects and begins inspecting them until he notices Dr. Axline watching him. He immediately crawls under the table, and as the rest of the class gathers for a circle, he remains there, giving no indication as to whether he is listening in or not. Afterward, Dibs crawls around the room, observing a terrarium and picking up objects. During recess, Dibs initially resists, but when he hears Dr. Axline say she wants to go outside, he complies. Outside, he plays alone with a stick, scratching it in the dirt. He comes inside and rests willingly, and then Dr. Axline invites him to accompany her to another playroom. Dibs silently agrees, holding Dr. Axline’s hand tightly. The playroom is a messy place, but Dr. Axline believes it will allow Dibs to feel and think with clarity, and to reform his world into something he can manage. She sits, and Dibs initially stands and sighs. He eventually starts making his usual circles around the edges of the room, touching everything and naming the objects in a questioning tone: “Crib? Dresser? Radio?” (29). Dr. Axline replies with simple phrases. He sits in front of a dollhouse and stares at it in silence, which Dr. Axline accepts, knowing he must have reasons for his choices. Then, Dibs expresses a strong dislike of locked doors, picking up mother, father, and sister dolls and telling them to go to the store. He takes off the walls of the dollhouse. Dr. Axline gives Dibs a five-minute warning before they have to leave, and afterward, walks him partway down the hall before asking him to go the rest of the way on his own. She gives him as much support as he needs—no more, no less—in order to help him find security within himself. She leaves her first meeting with Dibs impressed with his courage.

Dr. Axline calls Dibs’s mother and is invited to the family’s home the next day. When she arrives, she can hear Dibs yelling “No locked door!” (33), a now familiar phrase. Dr. Axline sits with Dibs’s mother, who coldly states that she expects Dibs not to change. She offers him as “raw data” (34) to study for the sake of science and nothing more. Dibs’s mother seems uneasy and repeatedly asks if Dibs can be studied at home instead. Dr. Axline declines, stating she is only able to perform her study at the Child Guidance Center. Dibs’s mother insists she cannot be interviewed or participate in any way, and neither can her husband. She doesn’t give Dr. Axline a final answer, and the psychologist leaves wondering what could have happened to make her so terrified of being involved.

Dr. Axline waits several weeks for a response from Dibs’s parents, but they finally give consent. Dibs’s mother brings Dibs to the Child Guidance Center for his first appointment. There, Dr. Axline takes Dibs to a playroom much like the one at his school, but more welcoming. Dibs circles the room, touching and naming each object in the form of a question. He stops in the middle of the room, and Dr. Axline encourages him to take his coat and mitts off. Dibs wants help, and Dr. Axline complies, not wanting to push him. Afterward, Dibs inspects paints and lines them up in order of the color spectrum. He picks up each jar, names its color, and reads the brand name of the paint. Next, Dibs writes the name of each color in a color wheel, using the corresponding color. Dr. Axline describes Dibs’s actions, affirming that she understands without encouraging anything in particular. Dibs explores a sandbox and blocks and starts calling Dr. Axline “Miss A” (45). Dr. Axline believes that with patience and effort, he can “develop strength to cope with his world” (46). When the session is over, Dibs dislikes the idea of going back home with his mother and begins to cry. Dr. Axline wants to comfort him, but knows that doing so will inhibit his independence. Dibs’s mother looks uncomfortable, and when Dibs falls to the floor and cries, Dr. Axline leaves, not wanting to complicate the situation by involving herself.