Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People

Goff’s key motif in Everybody, Always is the phrase “becoming love.” He never sets forth an intentional explanation of this phrase. Instead, he defines it by using examples of people he admires who, by his definition, have responded to Jesus’s imperative to love everybody always. Sometimes the application of this title is more obviously suitable, as when he praises the immigrant Walter, who welcomes refugees with tender warmth. He writes that Walter recognizes Jesus in every needy person he meets because Walter is becoming love (145).

At other times he bestows the title on those who have excelled in amazing ways without any overt expression of outward love. For example, he describes his friend Lex as someone who is becoming love. Lex is an admirable Paralympic long jumper who is completely blind. Goff relates Lex’s maturity, bravery, and achievements but does not explain how all these qualities can be understood as love (100-01).

The phrase “everybody, always,” which Goff uses as the title of the book, defines the target group of people whom Jesus commands his friends to love. Goff repeatedly expresses both the necessity and the difficulty of this proposition, as he writes: “He [Jesus] wants us to love everybody, always—and start with the people who creep us out” (3).

Goff admits he is not yet able to love all others as Jesus did and frequently describes his efforts at growing in his ability to love. He uses an example of how he tries to love difficult people in 30-second increments. He writes that it is easy to agree with Jesus about the need to love everybody always, though it is problematic to obey this command. While Goff does not offer a simple, clear explanation of what he means when he talks about loving people, he seems to imply it means listening, accepting, and showing affection (53-54).

Friends of Jesus is a fluid description Goff uses to refer initially to the earliest followers of Jesus (2-3). During the progression of the book, he frequently uses the phrase to describe those who are attempting to fulfill Jesus’s imperative to love all others. He does not use the term to refer generically to Christians, reserving it for those who show great integrity in personal growth and living out faith in Jesus. Goff does not ascribe any virtue to theological depth, biblical awareness, or religious practice when it comes to attaining friendship with Jesus. Rather, he places the greatest value on spontaneously embracing others with accepting, compassionate, generous affection. This contrast between conventional Christian aspiration and Goff’s view of Jesus’s true intention is apparent in Goff’s description of the converted witch doctor Kabi. Goff writes of Kabi’s spiritual change and their own relationship, saying, “When I do see him, I don’t see a felon anymore. I see a guy trying to follow Jesus just like I am” (203).

From pretending to be a statue in Madam Tussaud’s Wax Museum (59-60) to rolling a neighbor’s house with a massive amount of toilet paper (24-25) to forcing his son to take off and land a seaplane on a small lake in a mountainous canyon (131-35), Goff glories in stories of his own impulsive behavior in Everybody, Always. He imputes spiritual significance to this tendency when he implies that his spontaneous actions are meaningful expressions of love. One example is his impulsive purchase of walkie-talkies to communicate with his neighbor Carol. He explains he decided she was terrified by the diagnosis of her cancer and the walkie-talkies would restore her to a place of childlike joy, washing away her fears (15-16).

Goff delights in being unpredictable. It is demonstrably a form of contrarianism with him as well. He enjoys circumventing rules and quashing traditions, as seen in his unwillingness to use customary descriptions and titles when describing the church and Christians.

Beneath the title of each chapter, Goff pens a brief proverb meant to be an opaque reference to the lesson conveyed in that chapter. For example, the beginning of Chapter 13, “Karl’s Dive,” features the proverb: “We’re not held back by what we don’t have, but by what we don’t use” (117) The chapter tells the story of his friend Karl, a well-known quadriplegic attorney who embodies the principle of making full use of one’s abilities rather than complaining about one’s inabilities. In addition to the opening proverb found in each chapter, Goff spins maxims throughout the book. These are engaging and challenging. For example, “Great love often involves tremendous risks,” he writes when describing the courage of the Ugandan judge who risked his life to combat witch doctors (189). In writing about relationships, Goff observes: “God didn’t give us neighbors to be our projects; He surrounded us with them to be our teachers” (21).

While he shares many clever quips and quotable observations, Goff never unpacks his meanings or elaborates on his principles. Biblical proverbs often come in pairs, so that readers can ferret out the context and initial meaning of what’s being said and reflect on the idea being conveyed. A well-known example of this comes from Proverbs 16:18: “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” This verse offers two versions of a conventional truth, saying the ultimate result of blind self-importance is a downfall. Goff conversely offers many new aphorisms without support or example.