Evil Eye: A Novel

Fadi and Yara take their nightly shower together. It is one of the few times of the day that they spend together. Yara is distracted, and Fadi notices. She wonders aloud if the two are becoming like their parents. Fadi balks at this idea and tells her that if she wants to change, she has to actively try to do so. Complaining will not help her become the person she wants to be. Still, Yara tells herself that she is lucky to have Fadi, especially since he accepted her despite her mother’s past. He tells her that he actively tries to avoid being like his father. She does not think that he has succeeded in this endeavor but does not voice this opinion.

Yara reluctantly attends a faculty meet-and-greet event. She runs into Silas, and the two strike up a conversation. He’s noticed her introversion and comments upon it. Yara becomes defensive, but Silas does not seem offended. The two chat further, and he reveals that the college wanted him to talk to someone during his battle for custody of his daughter. Yara tells him that her therapy was “strongly recommended” after her outbursts. Silas is not surprised that Amanda provoked that kind of response, as she has a reputation for being a “pain.” Silas asks Yara where she is from, and she tells him, as she always does, that she is an American citizen and was raised in Brooklyn. Silas apologizes for his question. Yara explains how frustrating it is to be asked this so often. Again, Silas apologizes. The conversation is an icebreaker of sorts. Afterward, Yara feels better.

Yara’s father calls her. She is initially alarmed since he typically only calls when something is wrong. He asks her if everything is okay in her marriage and explains that Fadi called him to complain about her behavior. He reminds her how difficult her mother made life for their family and suggests that she put more effort into being a good wife and mother. She is enraged but tries to remain calm. After the call is over, she wonders if it might actually make her feel better to begin taking care of her appearance again. She asks Nadia to watch the girls so that she can get a haircut.

Yara goes in for the haircut. She is given a long bob with some honeyed highlights to frame her face. She loves the final result, and Nadia tells her how beautiful she looks. Fadi, however, does not like her shorter style and tells her so. He reassures her that it will grow back, but Yara is crushed. She then observes how loving he is with their daughters and wishes that he loved her that much. She wonders if her mother was right about the curse.

Yara recalls summers with her mother and grandmother in Palestine. She and her mother picked fruit, and Yara remembers her mother and grandmother cooking together. On their last night there, her mother played the oud, a Middle Eastern stringed instrument resembling a lute, and sang while the other women danced around her.

Yara and Fadi continue to bicker. At school, Yara tries her best to be a model worker and coworker. Amanda is chosen to lead the cruise, and she tells Yara that she’ll bring her a souvenir from the museum that Yara talked about. Yara continues her counseling sessions, but the counselor still prompts her to be more open in their conversations. He asks why teaching is so important, and Yara tells him that if she cannot be an artist herself, she would like to help others realize their own artistic dreams.

Yara and Fadi attend a dinner party with Fadi’s business partner, Ramy, and his wife. Yara is quiet and withdrawn throughout the event. She has long felt uncomfortable around people, and the recent trouble in her marriage has only left her feeling more isolated. She sees how Ramy and his wife are so affectionate and wonders why she no longer has that with Fadi—or if she ever did. After the party, she and Fadi argue about her behavior. He calls her selfish. She reflects once again that she was lucky to find a husband given her family’s reputation. Fadi doesn’t beat her, and he doesn’t drink. She resolves to feel more gratitude for the blessings in her life.

Silas stops by Yara’s office. He has made coq au vin for her. She enjoys the meal, especially since her own cooking has felt bland to her lately, but worries about forming a friendship with a man other than her husband. When Fadi returns home from work, he is visibly upset. His father has made a bookkeeping error that he blames on Fadi. He now owes an additional $10,000 in income tax and expects Fadi to help pay it. Yara tries to reassure Fadi that he is a good man and that his father is unreasonable, but there is tension between the two. Yara recalls, without fully describing them, memories of her own parents’ difficult marriage. She and Fadi have sex, and she feels better.

Silas asks Yara to help him film a cooking segment with his class. There, the two chat about their shared passion for cooking. Silas explains how interested he has always been in the southern American cooking that he grew up with but also that he is committed to exploring food from other cultures. Yara shares that her cooking is rooted in family and memory. She continues to cook her grandmother’s recipes in order to maintain a sense of connection to her, even after Teta’s death. Silas remembers cooking with his grandmother as well, commenting that she probably realized he was gay before he did. Yara is surprised by this revelation because she has never known anyone who is openly gay before. The two bond over how difficult they found it to grow up in families that valued traditional values and normative gender roles. She tells him that she finds him easy to talk to and confides that she has struggled to open up with William, their counselor. Silas suggests that she tell William that.

At their next session, Yara tells William that she is ready to talk. In spite of that, she struggles to explain the complexities of her upbringing and how it still affects her. He suggests that she write her memories down in a journal, and she agrees to try.

Yara begins writing in her journal, though she is skeptical that it will help anything. Silas invites Yara to lunch at his mother’s house so that she can try real Southern cooking. There, she shares a wonderful meal with Silas and his mother, Josephine, and the three talk candidly about their lives. Josephine asks for more details about Yara’s own childhood, and Yara becomes upset. She starts to cry and leaves abruptly. She is mortified at her behavior but had been unprepared for so much honesty. Silas later texts to tell her that his mother enjoyed meeting her and that she is welcome back anytime.

Yara’s home life remains difficult. Fadi is increasingly irritable and returns home later and later. There is obvious tension between the two. One night, he asks her about counseling. He tells her that it doesn’t seem to be helping and wonders why she isn’t better. She tells him that she’s trying, but she is struggling with childhood memories. He scoffs at this, calls it an excuse, and reminds her that (unlike him) she no longer has to interact with her family. Yara chokes back tears, not knowing what to say in response.

Jonathan calls Yara into his office. He explains that due to budget cuts, both her teaching and graphic design positions have been eliminated. Yara asks whether he had ever planned to secure a full-time position for her, but all Jonathan can say is that it’s a difficult time to be in academia. Yara leaves in tears, and although she wonders if life might be easier once she is a stay-at-home mother, she feels an acute sense of loss. She remembers the journal that her counselor gave her and vows to use it as a way to “connect” with her mother and the superstitions that frame her family history.

Yara recalls in minute detail the day that her mother found out that her own mother was dead. She’d spent days in her bedroom after that, and when Yara urged her to leave the house, she threw a cup of hot coffee at Yara and told her that she wished she’d never been born and that Yara was a bad and ungrateful daughter whose birth had ruined her life. Yara’s mother uttered a curse in Arabic, dooming her daughter to a “terrible life” as a punishment for being a “terrible daughter.”

Yara tells Fadi that she is losing her job. He is not particularly upset. He points out how little they paid her and how much more time she will have to devote to household management and to their daughters. She gets upset, and the two have an argument. He tells her that he is tired and does not have time for “her bullshit.”