Lead from the Outside: How to Build Your Future and Make Real Change

Abrams admits that the “potency” of fear can hinder the realization of one’s ambitions, especially when one’s lack of privilege forms yet another hindrance to one’s success. She notes that the conditions that create this fear are real and are not to be underestimated. She argues that one’s self-deprecation and society’s deprecations—macro and micro—create passivity and timidity. Abrams argues, “To achieve power, to become effective leaders, we must name what scares us and acknowledge what scares those who are afraid of us” (69). She says this is a sure means of weakening fears and beginning to move beyond them.

One’s otherness complicates fear, as one may internalize society’s “-isms”—racism, sexism, ageism, classism, etc.—and struggle against people’s perceptions. Abrams presents an extended anecdote about how she acknowledged and responded to her colleagues’ expectations of her when she became the minority leader in the Georgia House of Representatives. Her mere presence as the first Black woman to hold the position caused her to wonder whether she should change her behavior to match the expectations of her peers. For instance, if she raised her voice as her white male predecessor had done, she imagined others seeing in her the stereotype of the angry Black woman. If she overcorrected and spoke more quietly as her introverted self, she imagined others may label her “weak.” Abrams considered the kind of leader she wanted to be and, ultimately, decided to be herself—she adds, “with minor modifications” (80)—and to strive for authentic self-expression and leadership style. This resolution upset others’ expectations but allowed her to embrace her difference as a personal and professional strength. Offering the example of her colleague Simone Bell, the first elected lawmaker who was Black and openly lesbian, Abrams observes that one’s identity may provoke fear in others. In the spirit of connection and collaboration, she says that her readers should seek to better understand their fears of others and, finding that they are the ones who are feared, they should use their otherness to seek opportunity. The worksheet called “Fighting Fear and Otherness” aids readers in confronting how they see themselves and how they believe they are perceived by others.