Reminders of Him

For three hours, Ledger and Kenna work on the flooring, neither one willing to confront the implications of Kenna’s letter. They are interrupted by a visit from Ledger’s parents, stopping by unannounced as they always do. Ledger awkwardly introduces Kenna as Nicole, his friend, a new employee at the bar. Ledger wishes his mother a Happy Mother’s Day. His mother is interested in Kenna, but Ledger steers the two of them to a quick exit. On the drive back to town, Kenna admits she wishes she could have seen Ledger and Scotty as friends: “I bet you two were fun together” (269).

When Ledger returns to his parents, his mother tells him she recognized Kenna right away. She asks how Scotty’s parents are taking this friendship. Ledger admits that it is complicated and asks his mother what the right thing to do is: “I think there’s room in a tragedy of this size for everyone to be both right and wrong […] If you see something special in her, then there must be something special in her” (272).

Back in her apartment, taking a shower, Kenna is surprised when Ledger shows up at her door. He takes her into his arms and they make love. Later, he tells her they cannot keep up this charade and that she needs to talk to Scotty’s parents. Kenna is uneasy over the idea. She is sure the Landrys will never forgive her, much less allow her into Diem’s life. As they drift off to sleep, Kenna tells Ledger what she should have said long ago: “I would have fallen for you even if you didn’t love Diem” (276).

Ledger drops Kenna off at work and heads back home to visit with his parents only to be confronted by an angry Patrick. Patrick saw Ledger’s truck parked at Kenna’s apartment that morning. He demands to know what is going on: “He asks as if he is my father and he’s pissed I snuck out in the middle of the night” (280). Ledger suggests maybe Grace and Patrick need to give Kenna a chance: “We’ve all been wrong here” (281); “At what point can we stop blaming her?” (282). Patrick is livid. In his anger he takes a swing at Ledger. Patrick demands that Ledger choose either Kenna or the Landrys, and he drives off. When Ledger gets to the bar, Roman takes Ledger to the ER for stitches.

Kenna is promoted at the grocery store. She begins to hope things might work out. Ledger picks her up, but the excitement ends when she sees his face. After much soul-searching, Kenna realizes she cannot expect Ledger to choose between her and Diem, between her and the only family he has. She decides she will accept his offer—take the money and head back to Denver. She knows in her heart she will never be allowed to see Diem: “I want as far away from my daughter as I can get” (286). He gives her the money and leaves. She is angry she allowed herself to hope: “There are people who find peace in forgiveness, and then there are others who look at forgiveness as betrayal” (288).

As she cries, she is aware that Ledger has come back: “I will be the best person I can be for your daughter” (289); “I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you” (289).

Ledger heads to the Landry home. Earlier, without Kenna knowing, Ledger took her phone and forwarded to his email her file of letters to Scotty. Ignoring for a minute his invasion of her privacy, he knows that Scotty’s parents need to read the letter from the night of the accident. He prints out the letter in Diem’s bedroom. Given his years of help and unqualified support, he tells Grace and Patrick, they owe him to read the letter: “You’re taking the worst moment of Kenna’s life and you’re making that moment who she is” (293). He tells her about all the letters Kenna has written to Scotty, the grief she bears, and the guilt she cannot escape: “We are keeping a mother from her child” (294). He drops the letter and leaves. At his home, he collapses into tears in his mother’s arms.

Later that afternoon, Kenna is stunned when Grace comes to her door: “I refuse to let myself think this means anything at all” (298). Kenna begins to cry. Grace tells her she is not there to upset her. Rather she pulls out a small black velvet bag and hands it to Kenna. In it, Kenna finds that expensive engagement ring she and Scotty looked at in the weeks before the accident. Grace and Patrick bought the ring under the condition that Scotty would pay them back before he gave it to Kenna. Grace read Kenna’s letter and now sees the depth of Kenna’s sorrow and the authenticity of her regret: “I am responsible for keeping you from your daughter for five years, and there’s no excuse for that” (300). She invites Kenna to come to dinner and meet Diem.

Ledger accompanies Kenna that night for dinner. Kenna is so nervous she nearly vomits. She is introduced to Diem as Ledger’s friend. Diem warmly greets Kenna, grabs her hand, and offers to show Kenna her new pet turtle and the jungle gym in the backyard that she got for her birthday. Kenna pulls the girl close to her and whispers, “I’m your mother” (305). Diem smiles and invites Kenna to come to her last T-ball game: “I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome” (306). Kenna offers to help Grace with dinner, but Grace tells her to play with Diem. Grace hugs Kenna and says: “We go forward. It’s that simple” (308). At last, Kenna feels forgiven.

All through dinner, Kenna listens to stories about Diem. At one point, Diem slides her tiny hand into Kenna’s and even sits in Kenna’s lap. Ledger is sure the Landrys see that Kenna is no villain: “She was a victim. We all were” (310). He remembers being stunned when Grace came to his house, her eyes bright with tears, after reading Kenna’s letter and asked to meet Kenna. Ledger drove her to Kenna’s apartment. Ledger fears Patrick might not be on board. Ledger talks to Patrick before the dinner, and Patrick concedes that if Ledger believes Kenna will be good for Diem, then he believes it too. The two share a tearful embrace. It is then that a pigeon lands in the yard: “I’ll be damned,” Ledger says quietly, “Is that a fucking pigeon?” (312). It was Scotty’s catchphrase. The two share a laugh; this is the first time one of their conversations about Scotty has not ended in tears. Ledger sees the pigeon as a sign that Scotty gives his blessing to everything.

Ledger wants Kenna to come over to his house. They have yet to make love on an actual bed. Kenna glows with happiness. Ledger is going to sell the house in the country and stay here in his parents’ home across from Diem: “This is my home” (314). Kenna and Ledger make love. Afterwards, Ledger promises Scotty, whose presence he feels, that he will be good to Kenna and Diem.

With Diem at her side and Ledger driving, Kenna returns to the site along the country road where Grace put the wayside cross to mark where the accident happened. She carefully returns the cross to its place. On the way back, for the first time in a long time, Kenna wants to hear the radio play, “any song, even the sad ones” (316). Music reminds her of Scotty, but now that she has forgiven herself, those reminders make her smile.

Kenna writes a letter to Scotty. It is two years later. She tells Scotty how much Diem has grown and how much she enjoys having her daughter in her life. Diem still lives with Scotty’s parents for continuity and stability, but Kenna lives with Ledger right across the street. She even stays over two nights a week. Grace and Patrick have accepted her unconditionally: “You were surrounded by good people” (320), she tells Scotty. She delights in telling him that she and Ledger have named their new baby Scotty.