Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

The Saturday after Christmas, Simon goes to Waffle House for breakfast with his sisters. Alice recognizes someone she knows there; it is Martin’s older brother. Simon abruptly leaves the restaurant and goes to listen to music in the car. Nora comes out to find him, and he explains that Martin is the one who outed him on the Tumblr. Nora uncharacteristically uses profanity to react to Martin’s actions, and she sticks up for Simon when Alice is annoyed that they left.

Simon has Nick, Leah, and Abby over for New Year’s Eve. They hang out in Simon’s basement, eating pizza, watching TV, and listening to Nick play guitar. Leah brings up the Tumblr post, which Simon hasn’t discussed with them yet. Simon admits he knows who wrote it, but he doesn’t tell them who it is. Everyone is quiet and awkward. Simon tells them that it is true, he is gay, but he hopes it doesn’t have to be a big deal. Abby urges Nick to say something supportive or hold his hand, like she did. Leah realizes that Abby already knew Simon was gay, and there is tension.

Later, after midnight and the arrival of the New Year, the friends lay in sleeping bags on the basement floor. Simon asks Leah if she is mad that he came out to Abby first. She says she doesn’t feel it’s her place to be mad about who Simon comes out to first, but she is worried that Simon thought she would react poorly. He promises her that wasn’t it. She asks how it ended up on the Tumblr, and he says it’s complicated.

Blue messages Simon on January 1. He describes seeing ultrasound pictures of his half-sibling, whom he calls Little Fetus, as well as a 3D ultrasound picture of another baby, which he found disturbing. Simon is tired from staying up late and writes that everything reminds him of Blue, even the merchandise at Target. He wishes he could text him pictures of things, but he pointedly says that Blue doesn’t want to exchange numbers.

Blue says he laughed at Simon’s email, but also apologizes for not wanting to give him his phone number. He confesses that he is frightened by the idea that Simon would be able to call him and hear his voicemail and know who he was for certain. He admits it’s probably silly, and he says he fantasizes about meeting Simon, but he doesn’t want things to change. He says, “I’m scared to lose you” (184). Simon says he wants Blue to trust him; he wouldn’t call him if Blue didn’t want him to, even though he is curious about who is. He also wants to keep emailing, but he just also wants to add texting. He reiterates he does want to meet in person, and he knows that would change things, but he thinks he is ready for that, because he wants to know more about Blue. Simon says he only wants this when Blue is ready, and that Blue isn’t going to lose him.

The first day back of school, Simon is apprehensive. It seems like a normal school day, until a football player harasses Simon, and other students laugh. As the day goes on, the reaction to Simon’s outing as gay is mixed. Some kids point and giggle, but others are supportive. The attention makes Simon uncomfortable.

At lunch, the group talks about finding Simon a boyfriend, and Abby enthusiastically says they should find Leah one, too. The mood turns awkward, and when Leah leaves, Garrett looks at Bram, which Simon assumes means Bram likes Leah. This annoys Simon, who encourages Bram to just ask Leah out, causing Bram to blush.

That afternoon, two guys interrupt rehearsal with signs making fun of Simon, doing a disrespectful dance in the back of the auditorium. Taylor, Abby, and the drama teacher Ms. Albright, chase down the boys. When they return, Abby tells Simon that Taylor almost hit one of the guys. Ms. Albright ends rehearsal early. She tells Simon she will make sure “that those assholes are getting suspended,” and it’s the first time he has heard a teacher use profanity (192).

Abby and Simon go to watch soccer tryouts. Nick, Garrett, and Bram come over to talk, and Nick and Abby flirt. Simon thinks about how Bram is very cute. When he and Bram smile at one another, Simon feels a little guilty, because he feels like Blue is kind of his boyfriend.

When Simon goes to his car, Martin is waiting there. Simon doesn’t want to talk, but Martin wants to apologize. He says he didn’t realize people would treat Simon like they had, and he was angry, but he shouldn’t have outed him. Simon tells Martin he thinks he’s an “asshole” and Simon is furious that he took away his ability to tell people about his sexuality on his own terms (196). Martin cries. Once Martin leaves, and Simon gets in the car, Simon cries, too.

Simon messages Blue and says it’s been a strange day and that being out is tiring. He asks Blue if he ever gets so angry that he cries, and if he ever feels guilty for getting angry.

Blue says Simon shouldn’t feel bad about being angry, especially “if I’m right about what’s making you angry” (199). Blue then admits he’s certain he knows who Simon is. Simon says he thinks that he knows who Blue is, too. He makes a list of five guesses about Blue in real life. Blue responds to each of Simon’s guesses. Simon guessed he shares the name of a former president and the name of a comic book character, and Blue says these are both true. However, the last three facts Simon listed (that he likes to draw, has blue eyes, and once pushed Simon in a rolling chair) aren’t. Blue says he’s not the person Simon thought. He doesn’t sign the email “Love, Blue” this time.

Simon apologizes for being wrong and says he hopes it doesn’t mess things up. He wonders if Blue is wrong about him, too. Simon says he feels “like such an idiot” (201). He signs his email “Love, Jacques.” Blue says Simon doesn’t need to feel like an idiot. He brings up the phrase “Jacques a dit,” a French phrase for Simon Says, and asks Simon to confirm. Once again, he doesn’t use “love” in his signature.