The Girl I Used to Be

The novel frequently mentions Olivia experiencing a “doubling” of her experience with the present and her memories of the past. What does this suggest about the way Olivia is processing her return to Medford?

Olivia is concerned about the way a public image is used to conceal a private truth. At the same time, she doesn’t seem aware of how she’s using that same process herself. What is she protecting herself from? What would happen if the image were to drop away suddenly?

Photographs and other nostalgic tokens appear several times in the narrative: the stolen photograph of her father, the items in her mother’s cigar box, the polaroid Duncan finds, the necklace Nora gives her. What effect might these mementos have on both Olivia and the movement of the plot?

Duncan initially criticizes Olivia for concealing her “true” identity. Do you agree with his criticism? Why, or why not? Would the events of the novel be changed positively or negatively if Olivia did not conceal her “true” identity? Was it important for her to make this choice to achieve her objectives?

Though it’s not a major element in the overall scheme of the novel, the topic of mental illnesses is brought into the conversation by Ben Gault. Discuss the portrayal of mental illnesses in the novel. Why might Henry have included a person living with schizophrenia as a suspect? Is the contrast between Ben and the actual killer significant? If so, why? If not, why not?

Consider the effects of trauma on some of the characters. The murders were a traumatic event for many in the community, not just Olivia. How does trauma influence people in the novel? What might Henry be trying to say about trauma?

Consider guilt in the novel. For example, Olivia feels complicated layers of guilt about her belief in her father’s culpability, and so do other community members. Does this have lasting psychological effects? If so, what?

Olivia’s early knowledge of her parents is mediated by the coverage of the crime. She relies on the printouts, for example, to find her way in the woods. How does this impact her experience of the crime? How is her knowledge and experience changed by existing in the same space that her parents did?